Sweet Lips

I am a fan of lips, like them soft and inviting
Even better if they they are spread in a smile
Mostly,i like to watch those soft lips move as you talk
I hate to restrain myself from just reaching over for a kiss
Sometimes I just don't give a bother; reach over and steal a kiss
It drives me insane when you avenge my 'stealth mode' stolen kiss
I like the way my blood rushes and all i can hear is heartbeats...
And all I can feel are those amazingly sweet soft cherry lips
Their sweet scent; like an exotic flower with a hint of heaven
I must not forget to say that they taste like grapes from the garden Eden
Where are you now that i need some sweetness in my life;Where are you?

love's on leave

Seems to me that love’s taken a vacation,
She took some of her stuff and went,
She left quite unceremoniously I must say,
No good bye- no explanations,
She just left…
But she’ll be back,
I'm sure of this; because she left most of her stuff behind,
But before that time comes,
I’m just gonna be raising hell,
Causing havoc-mayhem-chaos,
there'll be loads of liqueur,
plenty of getting stoned,
the goddamn party just got a life of its own,
everything is on auto pilot,
wonder if I'll find myself in a tails spin...
spiraling down,
wonder if i should finally go on my "sweet escape",
without her by my side,
this is the status-quo,
till she comes back again...

It's dark inside...

When I was about four,I was nicknamed 'falling' by one one of my neighbors! I always thought he was a rather strange man;he'd always insist on tossing me up in the air or leave me perched on some high place that I couldn't get myself safely from! It's no wonder I'd always scream that I was 'falling' hence the nickname that he alone used on me.

The irony is that I was never afraid of heights. In fact I'd climb up and over obstacles on the daily; this would usually drive my mother nuts as I'd use these tricks to escape from the house just to play outside!

The difference was the trust involved. I obviously had no trust in my neighbors child tossing and perching gimmicks, so every time it happened; I'd lose my mind from the fear that he would inevitably drop me! And why wouldn't I be terrified; this was a strange man, who always walked up to me and decided I looked better in the air! Up to date I never understand why people feel the need to toss kids they just met up in the air! On the other hand I didn't mind it if my relatives did it... Trust, is a major catalyst for any endeavor; is what I learned from that experience.

The lack of trust breeds fear that if unchecked could cause great harm to oursleves, relationships and lives. If you don't believe me; think about your life, your current fears, what triggers your fears, what caused these fears... And you'll see your fears are all trust related. For instance the fear of commitment or neglect caused by past experience of someone you trusted abandoning you. Hydrophobia caused by some horrible water experience from someone you had put your trust in or maybe watching water take away someone you trusted! The list is endless but fear and trust are always connected.

So how can we remedy this? Can we take back the power that we give the creatures or people that torment us? Yes. We most certainly can do that. I think with insects and animals its easier because the general rule of that they are more terrified of you, than you are of them! So as long as you don't antagonize them you should be fine. With people its a bit tricky as games of manipulation and selfishness are often at work but none the less you choose your company.




But what if the thing you fear is inside you... Then what do you do? Aside quickly contacting the Vatican and advising them to bring an exorcism kit! LoL. If the thing you fear the most dwells within, then you must face it.

I assure you; there isn't enough alcohol, smoking, numbing, romance, running, drugs, friends, blame games, manipulation, books...to help you escape yourself. Even after you try all these gimmicks, you'll soon realise that the journey to meeting your worst night mare is inevitable.

Step 1: Stop running and hiding. It's time to face your demons.

Step 2: Accept whatever it is you've been battling all this year's.

Step 3: Learn how to trust, love and take care of yourself. If you don't, who will?

Step 4: Learn how to use your darkness or shame to your advantage. Literally keep your enemy closer... Shouldn't be hard, seeing it dwells within! LoL

Step 5: Live and let live.

Night terrors.

It's dead of night and he's screaming his lungs out again! It's the same madness every few nights, we go to bed peacefully and in the middle of the night we're at war with the unseen creatures that rule the night! The most amazing thing is that he has no idea he does it! Every morning I tell him about it and he thinks I'm making up crazy stories... Like when I tell him he snores; which is also true, but he wount hear any of it. So here we are tonight, you screaming maniacally for the heavens to open and me wondering what haunts you like this. I try and bring you back to the realm of the living, hoping that a break of wakefulness will ease your terrors. This is madness; caught up trying to wrestle you're sweat drenched violent sleeping self into reality!
"Gixa!" I call out "Gixa, get up! It's just a dream!

After a spirited struggle I finally subdue you. And there you lay giving me this blank look that whispers " what's going on?"



It's always so priceless, the innocent looks you peddle after this episodes.
"You've been wrestling in your sleep again" I say " let's get some sleep, its nearly dawn."

The usual awkward silence ensues where you wonder if the things I say about you are all true, if I know more than I care to tell you and how much I know. And I lay there in darkness wondering if I can keep doing this by my self, fighting this battle that my loving opponent is unware of; as if the darkness has chosen to make a puppet out you with the sole purpose of tormenting us! I wonder who we can seek help from? And where would I begin? With a friend? Or a psychiatrist? Or the church? I wonder how angry you'll get because I told someone you suffer some maddening nightmares... I want to believe it's a normal thing, and that it's just a phase but something inside of me tells me it's just the beginning.

The days are simple and sweet, its the nights I worry about. For months these terrors have eaten away peaceful nights and spewed out a grim experiences that should only live in the horror channel. Not any more, I think to myself; I've done my homework and found a remedy for the lunacy. I can't wait for you to get home! I feel like a mad genius with a plan; the excitement builds up as I make us dinner!

"Something smells delicious" says Gixa as he walks into the kitchen "what you cooking pretty Mama!"

I'm tempted to say the 'the last supper' but I catch my tongue and choose to behave myself!

"It's just a new fish recepie I found" I say " I hope you like it."

You give it a taste and your face lights up! So amazing how you, a vessel of joy and so much love; could be so tormented by darkness!

We go about our usual evening rituals and as usual you fall asleep early. I light some incense and bless your face with some holy water. Then lay down to rest my head.

Light filters through the curtains and birds sing their lovely songs; its morning! Success at last! Strange feelings of excitement and energetic bliss fill the room. I gaze upon you still in peaceful slumber and I know that we have won the battle!

As I step out of bed I'm paralyzed by a thousand shooting pains that electrify my back. I look back and to see bloody sheets! Willing myself to leave the bed and get to the mirror; there's deep scratches on my back! As if some kind of animal had aattacked attacked me in my sleep! It's then I notice the bloody writing by the incese holder "cease these clever games little wolf"! I walk over towards a peacefully sleeping Gixa whose hands are still covered with blood! Feeling a bit light headed and the room spins around me, I feel myself sleeping away into the unknown.

"Penzi" Gixa whispers "its time to get up"

Feels like I've been asleep for days! I notice the old woman by the bed, feelings of confusion and agitation rise.

"Calm down" Gixa says "she's here to take care of you, she used to be my aya"

How long have I been asleep? I Ask

"Just a few hours" he answers "you'll be good as new when morning comes!"

Suddenly the events from morning come rushing through my memory! I ask random questions in a bid to cover up the fear rising within! It's clear the aya knows what I'm doing, so she sends him away to fetch some soup.

"You will be alright" she says "these uniqe people bear some deep dark secrets, you understand?"

I nod my head like a good girl, all the while plotting my escape.

"You knew how special he was from the beginning" she continued "you need to take light with the dark, you understand?"

Again I nod.

"There's no need to run" she said "your family now."

My eyes widen.

"Yes I can read your thoughts" she smiles making her grey eyes sparkle besides her silky grey hair.

Gixa comes in with the soup. Attempts to feed it to me with little success. Food it the last thing in my mind.

The Aya urges me to try and eat something. She leans over and kisses my forehead, then declares her need depart. Gixa has to walk her out and I jump at this opportunity to check on the wounds on my back, to my surprise; there's nothing! No wounds, no scars, no bloody messages... Nothing! As if it was just but a dream!

I hear Gixa drawing closer, so I jump back into bed and act normal. He sits next to me, holds my hand and looks into my eyes.
"Where is it" he asks
"Where is what?" I respond
"Your special water" he demands

I pretend to have no idea what he's talking about. He gives me a reassuring smile and I cant help but notice that everything in the room, including us; is floating! Gravity no longer ruled and I quickly realized that I bit off more than I could chew.

"Where is it?" He insisted.

I pointed to where the little bottle lay hiding.

"Thank you," he said "we won't be needing this anymore"

I watched as it disappeared before my very eyes! Then everything slowly and gently landed in its usual place.

"There's no need to be afraid my love, You're family now." Gixa lulled.

Blooming for your love...

Lying on the grass in the afternoon sun is one of life's simple pleasures, I thought to myselfy; she looks so peaceful taking a siesta while its nice and warm. Just another lovely afternoon in this lovely African paradise. I walk over to the sleeping beauty with the sole intention of ruining her slumber... I had promised to wake her up for dinner you see. As I drew closer I couldn't help but gaze upon this perfection that lay before my eyes: how could one person be so gorgeous! Short rugged hair, firm athletic body that's got her clothes begging to be ripped off... Even the tattoos and piercings are so well placed to suit the overall perfection! The sight I behold is of a perfect painting made by God after a good rest.

"Morra" I call out softly, "It's time to wake up."

She lay there peaceful and deeply asleep, so I reached out to give her a shake hoping this wake her up! As I reached out I couldn't help but notice my arm was nothing I recognized! It had turned into a branch! What the hell! It's then I took a moment to regard myself; my feet were long roots buried in the ground, my legs were a thick brown stem and the rest of me was leaves, branches and purple flowers! Why I'm I Jacaranda tree in bloom!! I think they're beautiful trees and I appreciate them... But how did I turn into a tree!!

I was in a panic! Trying to wrap my head around this current adjustment to my reality! Looking around I could see all the other trees in the yard swaying to the wind like it was a perfectly normal day! I could see the fiery flamboyant just standing there looking stunning, the eucalyptus by the hedge being all tall and pale, the avocado tree by the gate being all so fruitful, the pine trees by kitchen garden acting all so cool! The rose and wild berry bushes just basking in the sun and then the jacaranda trees by house beckoning me to go back where I belong! This is insane I thought to myself!! Though I love trees, I am not a tree!

Meanwhile Morra is still fast asleep as I endure through this sudden on set identity crisis. I need help I think to myself! I must wake her up and then she can help me. I shake off a couple of my violet flowers and sprinkle them upon her stunning face hoping she'd awaken but nothing! I try a few more and nothing yet! I let impatience win me over and decide to drop a little branch upon her thighs, that seems to have done the trick! She wakes up a little confused, looks around and finally gets on her feet.

"Chris!" She yells "you were supposed to wake me up!"

She complained as she headed for the house! I scream out her name countless times as I watch her disappear into the house! She can't hear me! It was then that the gravity of this situation dawned upon me! I am now a tree, trees cannot talk; they cannot share their feelings or concerns with humans! She cannot hear me! She thinks I'm a just another jacaranda tree chilling in the yard!

This is horrible! I need help... I thought to myself! So I stood there trying to fit into my new tree persona and figure out how all this could have possibly happened; I played the entire day over and over in my mind; trying to see when the transition from human to tree could have happened. I replayed scenes of waking up earlier that morning, our usual start of the day rituals, running errands, cooking and cleaning and walking towards Morra;none of it made sense!

The back door creaked and i could see Morra walking out still yelling for me. "I'm right here" I answered! Sadly all my efforts were for naught. There she was worried and confused about my whereabouts and here I was trapped in a form that denied me the ability to quell her discomfort. She slowly walked back into the house; i could see through the window she was talking on the phone, making different calls to different people who by her frustrated look weren't helping the situation. It wasn't long before our family and friends came to make head or tail of this situation, soon enough the police showed up to verify details the missing persons report Morra had filled up. The whole time she kept appearing from the back door with some new face having to go through a grueling narration of the days events and the countless possibilities of where I could possibly be over and over again. It was too painful to watch!

The weeks passed, I was still stuck in the yard watching my dear Morra from a far like an obsessed stalker; wishing i could break this ungodly barrier and hold her in my arms, comfort her and dry her tears. Every time she stepped out the door, I could see it in her eyes; love turning into a dark cloud of doubt, fear and resentment. In her mind, I was slowly but surely turning into the enemy! I could only hope that her heart was strong enough to endure this madness.

How it feels to be a tree; to stand tall in one place all day and night, have birds and woodland creatures nest and relieve themselves off you, have life happen to you in near exact motion on the daily! Here i was living in a near stagnant life style while brooding over all the things i had lost; each day seemed harder that the last, I couldn't tell if i was slowly slipping into a dark insanity or if it was the dejection dragging me closer to my end. Morra barely came to the back yard any more. The grass was unkempt, the hedge was growing wild, the kitchen garden had turned into a miniature wilderness, all the trees; myself included, were covered in lifeless leaves and branches... it was pure chaos! Seasons came and passed, chaos reigned over the backyard and a cold darkness ruled our lives. Morra miserable and trapped in the concrete walls that was once our home, and I ruling the jungle of filth that was once our love tended back yard!

One Morning something peculiar happened; a young man walked into the back and started cleaning up the yard! this came as a rather welcome surprise to all we yard dwellers! He collected all the trash, trimmed the hedges, pruned the bushes.. took care of every inch of the yard! it was marvelous. As the young disappeared into the house, out came Morra looking gorgeous as ever! It seemed like she was going to be hosting a party, she was meticulously arranging party props all over the yard and speaking endlessly on the phone. It felt great seeing her again and even greater knowing she was happy. As she went about her business all i could do was gaze upon her and reminisce on all those moment we had; even the fights and scolding seemed sweet at this moment; I couldn't help but wonder if she felt the same way.

later that night friends gathered in the yard, there was sweet music, delicious food and my dear Morra finally living again! As the night went by I couldn't help but notice a strange good looking man who seemed to take keen interest in 'my' Morra! Every time I gazed upon her he was right there making her laugh, filling her cup, keeping her warm... all the things that once were mine! I could feel a hellish fire brewing in belly, I wanted to walk over and end that shenanigan and claim whats mine; yet here i was helplessly rooted to the ground with nothing but hopes and wishes! This was simply too much for me!

Soon enough the party came to an end and i was feeling relieved that "Mr Romantic" would be on his way out of our precious lives! Who knew that trees too could suffer maddening jealousy... I laughed to myself. As our friends helped clean up "Mr Romantic" walked towards me and gave me a smirk look. How odd i thought, why would he make faces at a tree!

"Hello old friend" he said! "I see you're enjoying your new life in the yard."

Was he talking to me? I wondered to myself quite bewildered by his words!

"Yes Chris!" he said "It is you that I'm addressing... You may not remember me just yet but i have thought about you daily for decades! You once took away something dear to me and I'm here to return the favor, and I plan to make you watch the entire show from up there my friend!"

I couldn't believe the words that floated from his lips, like poisoned balloons they floated and burst right above me showering their venom all over! Who was this and what was he ranting about! As he walked away I noticed the blazing symbol on the nape of his neck; I knew that symbol from a powerful warlock I once ensnared... I felt a thousand chills shoot down my bark and roots, knowing only too well that my hellish troubles had just begun.

A walk in the dark.

I had this great longing
A sure unquenchable thirst
To take an unguided walk!

I kept envisioning this walk
It's wild twists and turns
And it's fulfiling ways.

My imagination ran a bit wild
Thrills from beyond haunting me
I knew one thing;a walking I must!

So I gathered a few supplies
Out into the warm sun I skipped
With not a bother in the world

Up the green hills I walked
Round the river bend I went
So excited was I to finally walk

Along the way I met all sorts
Some lovers, haters, kings,queens,
Angels, demons, hobbos, wealthy...

So wrapped up in this paths' adventure
That I lost track of this earthly time!
There stood sun,he kissed me good bye and ran...

In that mountain valley I stood,
Trying to find some leaves for shelter
Knowing all too well, the chill was coming

The moon blessed my night with her marveling glow
As the chill wrapped his icy hands around me
I somehow knew I'd make it through the night.

Wrapped up in jungle leaves and the icy chill
I felt my self slip into a mighty strange slumber
Where I was asleep and awake at the same exact time!

In my slumber, I walked around in some filthy ruins
As if searching for something precious in the rubble!
Only a mad man would do this; I thought to myselves...

As I sought feverishly for this 'mad mans' treasure
I stumbled upon a well in the middle of the ruins
A great thirst overwhelmed me, I had to take a sip.

Upon the well I stood. Drawing a bucket from the below
It's waters were cold and black yet for no reason I sipped away
Suddenly the bucket pulled me quickly into the darkness below!

Splash into the black icy water I fell, what a dark endless place
Deeper and deeper I sunk, its waters weighing above me like rocks
So I stopped fighting and drowning; it was such a serene moment.

When I roused from my deep slumber I was bewildered by this paradise
Everything was beautiful, delicious, seemingly happy and uncloaked!
It appeared to me that angels had descended while I was night walking.

RUINS

Once upon a time at the edge of the woods,
By the side of a winding road; there stood a palace,
With royalty, helps, antiques, treasures and animals all about,
Such a sight to behold; this pristine palace and everything about it,
King, queens and messengers from yonder would ride for days on end;
To experience the heart and soul of this wondrous palace, be part of its beauty.

One silent night when the palace lay dead asleep, the rival kingdom- full of envy;
Swiftly moved in and attacked this sleeping beauty; debauched her and set her ablaze!
Brighter and brighter did the flames light, rushing all over the walls and furniture eating them away,
Louder and louder were the screams from inside the walls; helpless and trapped inside this grim inferno,
Higher and higher bellowed the smoke as it rose; rushing towards heaven to gang up with the clouds,
As if trying to gather all the help they could to call upon the gods to come save this desperate scene,
The heat so immense; the screams dead and gone; the palace lay in debris, chars and ashes…
Then drop, drop, drop; drummed the rain, all so fashionably tardy! The irony of it all!

Once upon a time at the edge of the woods,
By the side of a winding road; there lay some horrid ruins,
With debris, chars, scavengers, bandits, harlots and ghosts!
Its sight sends shivers down one’s spine; misery is evident in this place,
Lepers, robbers and wizards come from wherever to debauch in this ruins,
To plot agony and brew up chaos; this ruins have become a temple of profanity.

One beautiful morning as the sun snuck up on the earth,
It graced its rays and blessed its light upon the ruins,
So hard did it blaze upon them; exposing all its deep dark secrets and fears!
Ghosts from the hellish inferno released and the scars of the once pristine palace;
Healed by the marvelous glow of this element from a faraway place; a magical paradise!
All the sacrilege, plunder and supreme darkness had no choice but to pack their bags and depart,
Then softly oozed a rhythm pulsing through the ground where the ruins lay; so distinct this beat of life.

Once upon a time at the edge of the woods,
By the side of a winding road; there stood a palace,
That fell from grace at the hands of sinister forces from the pits,
Along came an angel of the light and resuscitated the ruins from the palace,
Giving it the breath of life and restoring its immaculate innocence,
Now at the edge of the woods; by the side of a winding road,
Lives an enchanted meadow adorned with life’s beauty;
A simple paradise that exudes love, joy and serenity...