Shadows lurk

In the dead of night
When I'm by my lonesome
Visits this deadly chill
Shivers shoot down my spine
As the lurking presence spys

I squeeze shut my eyes
Tightly grab the covers
Too terrified to breath
Closer does this being draws
Silently I chant away my SOS

Hopefully heaven will open
Angels will quickly descend
To come remedy these terrors
That lurk about me in the dark
Causing me to sink deeper into hell




Endless years of silent terrors
Each time I promise myself to look
Soft is my resolve that dissipates
At the first sign of the dark lurking
When will it end? Or will it end me...

Tonight I must make the bold move
And glance upon your face, if any!
I wonder what I'll see, hear or feel
Will this act of courage turn a new leaf
Or will it verily destroy the entire book?

Naked

This must be the bravest thing
For a (wo)man to strip off all layers
And just stare hard at what you see
Come face to face with your fears
Reach out to your irrational self
Uncover all your secrets hidden deep
Just you and your imperfections
I really haven't known such courage
As to look at all your short comings
And say "yes,this is part of me"
This is what builds me up or tears me down
Do not repress the beast within
Let run with the wind; wild and free
Be true to your nature without a fear
Be yourself... The rest can go hang

Choke me...

How did we get here? I wonder to myself...
Surrounded by ghosts of what used to be a home
Furniture turned upside down, side ways or broke
China and glass shattered all over the place
Clothes and curtains strewn across the space

Your hands tighten their grip around my neck
Pressed upon a wall so bare, hard and cold
All is blurry and slipping; heart beats' bold
An eruption of frustration and pent up emotions
Yes. Choke me. See the life drain from my eyes

Strange thoughts and memories wash through my mind!
I remember a depersonalized aya from my childhood,
How she locked herself in an empty and cold house...
Always wondered how one would chose dark solitude
Yet now,in this moment as I slip away; I understand

Grip me tighter that the spell of numbness is broken
Maybe resurrection can revive this cold dark emptiness
As time goes by, my farm of cares to give grows barren.
My eyes roll back, tears stream and words at my throat;
Choke me,as they seek escape towards the light beyond.

To know a woman

Have you known a woman?
Not her lips so sweet
Not her eyes so shy
Not her tits so tender
Not her skin so soft
Not her twat so tight
Not her locks so long
Not her body so curvy
Not her bum so bouncy
Have you known a woman?
Her dreams so deep
Her mind so complex
Her insecurities masked
Her embrace so serene
Her emotions ever changing
Her talents so endless
Her voice so magical
Her presence so moving
Her insanity knows no end
Her passions wild as a bush fire
Her enduring nature
Her destructive power so unmatched
Her love so unlimited
Have you known a woman?
She could be your strength or your weakness
She could be your teacher or your student
She could be your blessing or your curse
She could be your angel or your demon
Either way,you know you want her and need her
Have you known a woman?

Midnight Charm

It’s getting old
The way you keep rocking up
Shamelessly uninvited; I must add
The way you sneak around my house
Fumble with my bed room door knob
After which you tip toe to my bed
And smoothly slide in…

It however, never gets old
The way you slide your arms around my belly
And kiss that place behind my ear with your sugar lips
The way your magic fingers slide down to my thighs
And smoothly pull my lingerie up my curves


The way your hands seem to know their way around me
The way you rock at that magical pace
Not too fast, not too slow; just right
The way you whisper into my ears exactly what you want
That excited look you get when I share just what I want
The crazy intense aura we create when we're together
That will never get old…

Rhythm of my soul

These are the beats that make up my soul
Beats that are repeated over and over
Beats that make me who I am

The beats of excitement
Made up of semiquavers of joy, laughter and bliss
They sound like raga, crunk and techno
The downbeats of depression
Made up of semi bereves of sadness, tears and pain
They sound like blues, jazz and classical

The climaxing beats of care freeness
Made up of quavers and crotchets’ of kisses, desire and orgasm
They sound like rock, soul and RnB

The sweet beats of my origin
Made up of minims of passion, strength and infinity
They sound like afro fusion, genge, neo-soul and bongo

The art of self sabotage

Afraid of these feelings inside of you?
They swiftly pushed your soul to suicide
Now all that remains is a cold empty shell
Ghosts of memories passed succeed at isolating you
Smoothly evading questions, build towering walls...
They think that you’re a cold hearted freak
But the truth is that you are just afraid
Every time you feel something remotely human
Something that could grow into a lasting commitment
You conveniently find fault and end up sabotaging it
You dig deeper into the closet day and night
Till you find the skeletons that you have been keenly looking for
You swiftly rub the skeletons on their faces
Telling them that it just can’t work out between the two of you
That it’s not me…it’s you and your skeletons
Your ice cold nature is the only thing that protects you
It shields you from the brutal heart ache you once experienced
It’s just a simple case of once beaten twice shy
You seem to have taken the lesson to heart
Every glance at the mirror reminds you of the scars you carry
Drowning in the terror of rejection and neglect
All this fear has turned you into your worst enemy
The perpetrator of grim abandon and heart crushing.
Ultimately you lose. A coward never wins.

Heaven

What's all this talk about heaven!
Some yelling that you can only reach heaven through a certain religion!
Others screaming that they have rituals that will take you to heaven!
The rest just trying to make you buy your way into heaven! Ha!
Don't be fooled my friend! Don't be fooled!
I'm not God, nor I'm I an angel or a saint... But I know heaven
Its the place where time stands still and the only thing that matters is the rhythm of the earth
Its the place where the waterfalls,the wind and the sun collide to paint the rainbow gate that I'll sail through
Its the crystal clear lake at the top of the mountain of God,with flora that previously existed only in my fantasy!
Its watching the sunrise while sitting on the peak of a snow capped mountain that lies on the equator!
Its watching the flow of untamed water as you ride upon its wild waves hoping they don't betray you!
Its watching the stars and the moon as the creatures of the night sing their songs of love
Heaven is the place where:
The rhythm of the Earth meets the rhythm of your heart;
The shine of the sun meets the shine of your soul;
The glow of the moon meets the glow of your eyes;
The whispers of the wind meets the whispers of your desires;
The twinkling of the stars meet the twinkling of your memories...
Heaven is when the awesome soul of the universe embraces your passionate soul
Embraces you so tightly that you simply burst and merge with the universe
Thus you cease to be a man or a woman
All you know is endurance like no other
The collision of pain and pleasure that takes you to Ecstasy
The communion of all our souls with love that makes us hum-moan-drum-chant-murmur-whisper-sing-dance-scream our selves into paradise...
Heaven is looking into your blazing eyes on a cold day in July,reaching my arms around you to taste your sugarush lips and lose myself in your being...
Heaven is losing yourself in a little paradise down here; Its melting in your gaze, losing my breath in your kiss, drowning in your love and resurrecting in your embrace...

Sweet Misery

The cold darkness is upon me
So sleek and conniving is she
Creeping slowly yet skillfully into me
Hypnotize me with your gaze so magical
Let the madness swiftly sink in as I watch your hips sway black silk gown
Take my breath away when you lay your honey lips on to mine
Sugar coated death is what you deliver to me
There is nothing underneath your sweet tender tits;no heartbeat, no warmth
Just endless inches of cold-silent-smooth skin
I am lost and confused; how this creature from the land of the dead tastes so good and has a scent so sweet I can resist
You're no good for me; you feed on my blood and suck my soul dry
Yet I can't be without you- just like you cant be without me
So c'mon my faithful seducer
Drive me too insanity with your caress
Tighten you embrace so that I no longer feel a thing
Dig your claws in and fuel me with your pain and misery
You've grown into me;filled me with mist of the mind and frozen my heart in time
Now I too cease to be human; feelings and emotions are a thing of the past
Now we are one; for what is pain without pleasure
A misery so sweet, I can't be without it
Ever so close to me,my sweet misery
Come dance with me upon the silver moon
Lets ride upon the wind to wherever
Maybe take a dip in the middle of the sea and let its unforgiving waters wash away the blood stains from our bodies
Maybe I'll lay my once human lips upon yours and take you to paradise
Take my hand sweet misery;be my gateway to heaven
And lets see if the satisfaction doesn't draw a smile on your sweet venomous lips

a meditation on self

In my head,
Everything is everywhere...
Some times its a war-zone; my thoughts fighting and screaming...
The confusion, torture and agony;
should vs. Shouldn't,shall vs. Shant,will vs wont...
All struggling for the position of my final decision...


I like it when its a disco (in my head)...
all the thoughts,memories and wonders come to life...
They are mingling-knowing each other-having fun...
everyone's got drinks,they're all looking hot,they're dancing,chilling even making out...
i should tell you that the disco in my head only serves alcoholic drinks...gateway drugs are allowed...that explains why i remember crazy-random things...
At this point, I'm very indecisive-flirty even a tease; yes-no-maybe-i don't know-who cares...


Mostly i like to be in a trance...
Everything is calm,cool,serene-just perfect...at this time i do not argue,bitch,hate... i'm sane,scheming,highly organized and effective...
in a trance,i rule the world,i get away with crimes,i am dangerous...
In a trance-i operate at a gifted level...
The trance is the climax of my potential... It is where i love to bask...

A State Of Trance

Unwell,insane,twisted,outrageous,
Obsessed,possessed...possessed??
Maybe...wild?? Definitely...
I can relate to that word-wild!
Wild and free...

Sometimes in a semi-conscious state,
I can hardly feel the earth beneath my feet,
Creatures of the night hold me hostage:
Bites-bruises-scratches-memories in bits n pieces,
Time keeps playing tricks on me!
At times everything's moves at the speed of light,
Then there is a deceleration;
When everything is in slow motion,
Suddenly time stops!
Everything around me freezes...
I'm in a natural high.

Not even a combination of herbs,
Flavors and
Vaporized vodka
Can bring me to these heights!
Tis a wild hallucination
Where me and my visions become one
The words from my books come to life-
Images in my head have a life of their own
Sometimes i cant take it-its too much...

I start to walk away
But they wont leave me alone
I find myself jogging
Then running into nothingness...
My quick feet don't seem to find the ground
Dilated vessels-uncontrollable heart beats
Lungs overheating-thoughts in disarray!

Its a free fall to a world unknown,
I'm submerged in a strange world
Of illusions and fantasies
I am who i want to be
I am what i want to be
I am where i want to be
Armed and in flight
Ready to flirt with death
In my natural high...

a dotty affair

A dot...
That's what i am,
that's what fully describes me...
yes, a dot is so perfectly me!!!

On a good day,
I'm the dot that leads to the line
That leads to the creation of a masterpiece...
The sort of creation that wows you-blows your mind
Takes your breath away-moves you to tears
Makes your knees feel like jelly...
Yes, that amazing dot right there is me!!!

On a bad day,
I'm the dot that leads to the line
That leads to a doodle...hehe...yeah,that's me!!!
The good news is, that sometimes
The rainbow accidentally sprays its lovely colors
All over me and i actually pass for a fine piece of art
At the exhibition we all call life...
The bad news is that on really twisted day,
This little dot right here leads to the line
That causes massive doses of confusion-mayhem-chaos-
Havoc-destruction-disarray-sadness-loneliness...a world of misery...

On an undecided day,
This dot leads to the line
Which leads to the land of surprises...
Sometime lovely-other times horrid...
Mostly, on such days,
This dot finds itself in the middle of nowhere
Absolutely loaded with nothingness
And has to get creative-tactful-scheming-smart-skillful...
To make something out of the nothing...
To turn the 'nowhere' into 'now here'...
Yes, i'm the dot that leads to the line
Which leads to the creation of wonders-marvels-awe...even excitement!!!
Yes,that little dot at the beginning and at the end is little old me...

Besides my madness

Assuming that each word i write
will take me a step closer to freedom
freedom from the anguish i harbor
in the depth of my soul-freedom from you;
the object of my obsession...
i need to set myself free
from the crystallized illusion of you
that i have created in my head...
I'm searching for the way out
To escape this quagmire that i created,
A seemingly innocent crush has grown into
A monster that has a life of its own!
You,the object of my wild desire,
have succeeded in filling the position
of the angel that haunts my every thought,
torturing my soul and punishing my heart!
I need freedom from from my heart-
You see, before you magically appeared,
my heart was in perfect condition:
Cold-indifferent-unmoved-mechanical-perfect
Now its come alive!
Constantly beating faster at thoughts of you
Seeing you is a nightmare for my heart explodes
You got my heart working at superhuman levels
sometimes it threatens to tear out of my chest!
Overwhelming sensations of pain and pleasure
Ramming in the walls of my chest
i cant even imagine talking to you
Think i may just suffer a heart attack
whats worse,is that you haven't the faintest clue!
love unrequited;'tis a pain greater than all others combined
the bondage that holds me hostage-a hellish fire set ablaze
Flames of which are sustained and developed by the cocktail
of perfectly balanced hope and uncertainty
A fire that now consumes me slowly in the form
of conflicts,battles and wars of feelings within me:
wars between intense joy and extreme despair,
euphoria and depression,pain and pleasure
'tis heaven and hell inside of me
And nobody not even you know about it
I wonder how long i will keep my head above water
How long i'll keep up the fight
Before i give into this ocean of apprehension,
Nervousness,anxiety caused by the terrible worry
That my slightest screw up may lead to the disaster
Of the non-existent 'US' falling apart
Saw you again the other day; these feelings i couldn't control
Equilibrium unraveled- thoughts in disarray-
my breath taken away-my person depersonalized
Time had stopped and I had stepped out of my body momentarily
To watch,from a safe distance,the impending disaster unfold
For a moment i was invisible- Reaching out but not touching,
crying out your name without a voice
i then turned and silently watch you walk away
such is the misery that i languish in
so many words i have written
yet i am still not free from the great illusion
that breeds within me;
reproducing baby illusions of a possible 'us'.

Sweet Lips

I am a fan of lips, like them soft and inviting
Even better if they they are spread in a smile
Mostly,i like to watch those soft lips move as you talk
I hate to restrain myself from just reaching over for a kiss
Sometimes I just don't give a bother; reach over and steal a kiss
It drives me insane when you avenge my 'stealth mode' stolen kiss
I like the way my blood rushes and all i can hear is heartbeats...
And all I can feel are those amazingly sweet soft cherry lips
Their sweet scent; like an exotic flower with a hint of heaven
I must not forget to say that they taste like grapes from the garden Eden
Where are you now that i need some sweetness in my life;Where are you?

love's on leave

Seems to me that love’s taken a vacation,
She took some of her stuff and went,
She left quite unceremoniously I must say,
No good bye- no explanations,
She just left…
But she’ll be back,
I'm sure of this; because she left most of her stuff behind,
But before that time comes,
I’m just gonna be raising hell,
Causing havoc-mayhem-chaos,
there'll be loads of liqueur,
plenty of getting stoned,
the goddamn party just got a life of its own,
everything is on auto pilot,
wonder if I'll find myself in a tails spin...
spiraling down,
wonder if i should finally go on my "sweet escape",
without her by my side,
this is the status-quo,
till she comes back again...