Bondage

What is romance to you? This is a question we each must ask ourselves because romance is extremely subjective. What you find romantic another might find extremely revolting. What was romantic to your last lover might be an absolute annoyance to the next.

As an adult I’ve had to reconstruct my ideas about romance; I was so surprised that many of the things I find romantic had nothing to do with the popular culture of romance; like fine dining, flowers etc… don’t misunderstand me, I do enjoy eating out it’s just not up there on my list – I’m the kind of monster who will ask you what you’re ordering so I can order something different then insist on tasting your food and harass you to taste mine so I can feel less guilty about the bullying. I love flowers too but mostly in the form of a natural growing bush or potted plant.

Something as simple as my handbag strap snapping whilst we’re in public and me wishing I had my stapler for a quick fix, then you having a stapler in your bag because you’re obviously a weirdo like me is very exciting and romantic for me - the ability to anticipate your lover’s needs is mind blowing! Scavenger hunt strolls in nature are very romantic. Sun rises, sun-downers, stargazing… the appreciation of nature and the universe is extremely romantic.

Then there’s the twisted or shadow aspect of romance; you know the things we keep so well hidden only to unleash them to our innocent and unsuspecting lovers or spouses months or years later. Mine is bondage and discipline (submission), the other half involving being sadistic and masochistic is absolutely not for me.

The intrigue about bondage and discipline (b & d) for me is that firstly I’m a bit of mouthy rebel, so as you can imagine the discipline part is very foreign to me; because of this reason I’m so curious about it. The bondage bit is a bitter-sweet thing for me; on the one hand – I enjoy rope work, rope games and knots but on the other hand; being an African with a history of slavery – captivity, chains and whipping is definitely not something I should be flirting around with. My ancestors might send thunder my way!

Often people assume that people who are into bondage will also take abuse lying down; a big mistake on their end. Bondage is a fun activity that you can you have with your significant other whom you love, trust and respect – in a controlled environment, otherwise you’re risking your life.

Abuse on the other hand is something severely insecure people who actively refuse to work on their past traumas or people with psychopathy in their DNA might unleash on you. A real psychopath will hurt you and feel nothing, possibly even laugh at your suffering.

A severely insecure person will hurt you then profusely apologize and try to win you back; sadly some of these cases end up in murder - suicide because the severely insecure person lost control, murdered you ‘by mistake’ then realized the gravity of their actions and out terror or grief decide to kill themselves too.

The worst kind of bondage is sexual slavery; you’re a fool if you think that this does not affect your life. This is not something that over there in those countries abroad, this is not ‘vitu za wazungu’... This is something that could happen to you, your sister, your brother, your daughter, your son, your relatives and your friends.

If you’re cut from the “spirit of adventure” aka ‘mũhahe’ cloth like me, or you’re globe trotter, you’re schooling abroad, you’re looking for ‘greener grass’, you’re suffering from addiction, you’re looking for love in yonder and so on… you’re especially at risk. It can happen to anybody regardless of your economic status, education, religion, race, gender or whatever.

To sexual slavers; you’re but a bag of meat with pleasurable holes or protrusions in it. They’ll lure you in and put you in captivity – you will have to do their bidding or get killed, they even threaten to kill your entire family (most of you only care when your life is on the line – better protect your people coz sexual slavers are coming for your neck since your poor sister or brother has rightfully rebelled against the tormentors). They’ll even drug you up, chain you to a bed and deliver you to hell and all its demons. As we act slowly on this crisis, remember that “horn bill's problem is everybody’s problem”.

So I’ll ask again; what is romance to you? Because some of the things that we’re doing in the name of love, romance and conforming to the ‘norm’ are straight up butchering love and our souls. Don’t be cheated by the slavers; simplicity can be the most romantic thing on earth. Try it today!

#BushBabyTales #Romance #Love #Bondage #Abuse #Capitalism #SexSlavery

(Pic by Alexander Krivitskiy)